Date: Wed Nov 9 18:12:43 EST 1994
Thank you all for the messages. I cannot answer any of
them. I am sorry. I don't have the time or the energy and
frankly, I can't dwell on Nirvana. I can't spill my guts.
It's too personal and again, I can't dwell on it. I guess
I'm the little bass player who can't. Chugga, chugga, choo, choo.
Wow that was a rush. I'm embarassed! There is too much pain.
I'm over the daily "grief waves" but still go through feelings
of confusion, anger, regrets, missing him and alot of times a
feeling of beautiful loving feelings for my friend. Fuck this
is enough. Next time I'll upload so my software can tell me when I
am repeating words too often. It's late and I'm kinda tired.
Nothing matters anymore anyway. The christians are going to
baptise us before we're marched up to the wall. I'm talking
about the mid term elections. When the Christian coalition comes
a knocken, both house's are gonna have to heed. If that's the case,
God help us all! (sic) True Christains want to emulate Jesus. You
know, to be right on and not judge, be forgiving bring wine to
weddings and have long hair and a beard.
The suede denim secret police are gonna get me for that one,
fer sure. Wow, by the way I've been rambling, you'd think that
I was Courtney or some thing. I could never match that prose
though, shre (Whoops) she should get her degree.
So many people are gonna read this because Krist Novoselic wrote
it but let me tell you this, I am a man of the proletariat! This
is quite a boast comming from my tax bracket. Remember, socialism
is an ethic not an ideology! I write this under the gase of an
actual portrait, not a print, of Lenin. I scored this at the Pike
Place Market and it came from some soviet beu bureau in Vladivostok.
Newt Gingrich has his St Paul I have no one. You don't think that
I'm some le bolshevik. Who needs Lenin when you have Mao?
I'm gonna start a shining path sattelite up here in the northwest.
I want a Satellite with a 383 and a four speed pistol grip shifter.
Super Bee. Coronet. Charger.
The whole of this silly rant is that I really don't have much
to say, right now. Sure if I were to be in the seat next to you on
a plane and we struck up a conversation, we'd pass the time by
discussing the topics of the day or what ever. I cannot answer
Nirvana questions. The mail I got was sweet and I apreaciate it
by hey, as the Flav says, "Can't do nothing for you man!"
To be truthful, I'll read your messages but won't reply. Who
am I any way. I'm the guy next in line at Safeway. I'm the person
in the left lane of traffic who gets uptight when people won't get
over. I was in an emmensely popular rock band. Did I spell
immense right? What ever. I understand the power of music so I
understand you all. Sometimes I can't understand jack asses who
talk shit about dear old Kurt but as a true democrat, NO party
affiliation, I'll respect the fact that they have a right to their
opinion, no matter how shallow and misinformed it is. We need more
respect in this world.
Remember that the music biz and the rock press have a
Remember that Nirvana was about music, first and foremost.
Remember Leon Trotsky. THe Fugs, "Dirty Old Man".
Remember not to e mail me. I will not answer.
You are all good. good bye and god blesss!